The Pain

What are these feelings?
I don't understand.
How so many emotions, thoughts and feelings
Can swirl through my body.
Some days good
And some days bad.
If only I knew what, where, how, why and when.
So confused and feel totally alone.
Can't voice my feelings.
Causes too much pain.
How to open my heart
And let people in.
Can I ever trust again?
So afraid and unsure
If I will be hurt
Time and time again.
Will I ever be happy?
Can I ever let anyone in?
Can I open my heart
And find the perfect cure?
So scared, so afraid that
I will always feel this way.
Hope one day I will be able
To pour my heart out on someones table.
And they will be there
To help put the pieces back together.
Oh why can't I open my heart?
To put the past behind me.
And the future ahead.
Take the present day by day.
But it doesn't work
I already tried
I resigned myself to the fact
I will always feel the pain.